I have moments…

I have moments when I don’t want to try.

I have moments when I don’t want to dig deeper and see what shadow has been unconsciously driving my thoughts and actions.

I have moments when I don’t want to see my truth, I don’t want to look for beauty, I don’t want to choose joy.

I have moments when I can’t look my loved ones in the eyes because if I don’t want to love myself right now, they don’t get to love me either.

And.

These are moments.

And in these moments I allow myself to shut down and shut out everything.

I allow all of my densest and darkest emotions, thoughts, and feelings to be felt and seen.

And the moment passes.

And I try…just a little. Until I am ready to try a lot.

And I take a deep breath. I dig just a little bit deeper. I excavate through my “I don’t want to’s” and find some courage. My courage dares me to uncover my forgiveness. And my forgiveness tells me to welcome in compassion. And my compassion allows me to love my shadow for trying to protect me.

And then all at once I see my truth. And the brilliance of my truth (and your truth) shines a spotlight on all the beauty and joy in my life. And I invite in more truth, beauty, and joy, because I have cleared the space to receive more of it.

And then I cry, because I remembered who I am. I remember that I chose to trust this terrible and beautiful healing process: I was brave enough to allow the hurt and pain to surface. I was brave enough to feel. Finally, I am ready to choose to stand in front of a mirror and look into my own eyes and say, I love you.

And then I choose to look into the mirror of all my loved ones eyes and say, I love you too.

Can you give yourself permission to feel your “I don’t want to’s” today?

Can you trust that this discomfort will pass? It may take you moments, hours, days, or even years to truly feel what is ready to be healed inside. You may even need to ask for help along the way. But isn’t YOUR truth worth knowing?

Your truth is brilliant.

It’s more awesome than your mind can fathom, and it is waiting for you to remember.

With love and compassion,

Josephine